we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
