She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
