You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
