she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
His hands were made for my vagina.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
