Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
