The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
