You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
