This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
