I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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