The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
