So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
