I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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