life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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