He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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