Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore

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(925): View more from California

After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

then he tried to convert me to islam

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets

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(540): View more from Virginia

Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.

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(432): View more from Texas

I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....

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