She said her name was "party"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
