That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
