these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
