last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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