Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
