I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
