I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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