Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just pee around me
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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