i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
