I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You pole danced in your parka.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
