Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
