So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
farters have to be the big spoon...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
