member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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