she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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