So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
