Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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