Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
