Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
