Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
