This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
