it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
