I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
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