So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Randomize
