I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
