Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
