Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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