so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
