is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
A+ Viking dick
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
