is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
