Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
