I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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