is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
