Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
