Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
