that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You don't make any sense
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