So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
