if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
