i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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