I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Text me some of your sweat
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
