sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
